-
CommunicationJames 1:19Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry• Communication has been an issue forever• The majority of the problems in our family stems from unhealthy communication• Money, sex, discipline can all be resolved if we could learn to communicate betterHealthy communication requires:1. Listening to understandEveryone should be quick to listenProverbs 18:13 He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him. (NKJV)• Most of the time we listen to respond before we listen to understand•Webster: understand something means that we grasp the nature, importance and significance of•How often have you heard someone talk but you do not appreciate the nature, importance or signifi-cance of what they said? Of course, we all have …•We heard a few key words and believe we have everything resolved•That’s what gets us into trouble …• Especially us men, we are always in ‘fix it’ mode• But slowing down to understand will better equip us to fix whatever we feel needs fixing• Truly listening requires time but most of us are in too big of a rush to listen intently. We want to getthe gist of the conversation and hurry off to our next task• Our family is too important to neglect intentional time to connect“There is a difference in listening and waiting for your turn to speak” Simon Sinek• More listening and less talking• So how do we do that?• Intentional family meal/ same room @ table• This is a non-negotiable – Not every day, but it must be a routine part of your schedule• With the busy schedules and ball practice. it’s rare that families eat at the same time, much lesstogether. Parents grab their food and head to the TV while the kids take their food to their room• The dinner table has become more of a decoration than a gathering placeIllustration: Author Leonard Sweet writes in From Tablet to Table:• The #1 factor for parents raising kids who are drug-free, healthy, intelligent, kind human beings?“Frequent family dinners.”• The #1 shaper of vocabulary in younger children? “Frequent family dinners.”• The #1 predictor of future academic success for elementary-age children? “Frequent familydinners.”• One of the best safeguards against childhood obesity? “Frequent family dinners.”• The variable most associated with lower incidence of depressive and suicidal thoughts amongeleven to eighteen-year-olds? “Frequent family dinners.”• There is something profound that happens when we break bread together• Put down Cell phone/ Technology / Distractions2
-
• Watching TV or scrolling through your phone will trying to carry on a conversation with someone islike having a radio between two stations at the same time, you can hear them both but you cannever fully grasp the beauty of either.• We have become so enamored with our devices that we can’t even have a normal conversationwithout checking our cell phones• You can go to any restaurant and find couples/families all on their phones instead of talking to eachother• I see it all the time, parents giving their 5yr olds an iPad to keep them occupied and then wonderwhy their 15yr old won’t put down their iPhone• Body language• Eye contact• We may hear with our ears, but we listen when our eyes are connected• We see their facial expressions, gestures and mannerisms that simply hearing can never portray• Focus on whats spoken• Look for the reasoning behind the words / Hear their heart• It is often not the words we need to hear but the emotion, expression and context of those words• Begin to have some meaningful conversations about real issues• Many parents find out more about their kids life through Facebook than from the child themselves• Spending time together is good but dealing with the real issues that matter is crucial in the familydynamic• When they know that you will listen to understand they will begin to entrust you with the real issuesthat bother them which in turn will lead to stronger relationships• Your kids, your spouse deserves your attentionIllustration: A group of teenage prostitutes in San Fransisco were asked “What led you to prostitution,what did you need that you weren’t getting? The overwhelming majority of them had the sameanswer. “I just needed someone to listen to me, someone who cared enough to listen”•When you listen you are showing respect. You are demonstrating you care•our age will not go down in history as ‘the age of hearing’.•Adlai Stevenson once opened an address to students at Princeton with these words: “I understand Iam here to speak and you are here to listen. Let’s hope we both finish at the same time.”•But the truth is, a lot of church attenders get through listening long before the pastor gets throughpreaching.•Most of the time we want people to listen to us because we think that what we have to say is moreimportant•Communication begins not with talking but with listening.•Most people want to be heard first and then they are willing to listen•What James is saying is that we must be willing to listen first•Listen to what? Listen to truth What truth?•The truth about ourselves•The truth about our situations at home•Too often we ignore the problems at home and in our lives because we are not willing to listen•When a spouse or our children want to talk we have to make time to listen•The Greek implies – listening with an attentive ear•Many times we have stopped listening before the other person has stopped talking•If you want a good marriage it begins with listening•It is difficult to hear when both spouses are screaming at each other•It is difficult to restore a relationship when one or both are not willing to listen•Listening to the spouses needs Listening to the expectations Simply Listening to each other3
-
•People often hang on to their opinions because they are unwilling to listen to what others have tosay“Most of the successful people I know do more listening than talking” Bernard Baruchtweetable The greatest form of respect you can show is actually listening to what they have tosay
Communicating
Communicating
Bible Passage: James 1:18
More from Series
-
December 28 2025
Series: Preserve with Joy - 2025
-
December 3 2025
Series: Preserve with Joy - 2025
-
November 30 2025
Series: Preserve with Joy - 2025